Gay or European?
by NaviNinja2002
Summary: Everyone is wondering whether Ritsu is gay or European. A parody of Legally Blonde the Musical's song, Gay or European. Rated T for slight cursing.


Sekaiichi Hatsukoi: Gay or European?

All eyes met at the new editor, Onodera Ritsu, as he walked back from the meeting with an author. Everyone ,but Takano, from Kisa to Isaka was huddled in a herd. As the man sat down, the sound of his new coworkers gossiping can me heard from miles away. He leaned toward the center of commotion and listened.

"Something's wrong with the new guy, and all of you know what that is," Mino mumbled as Ritsu's eyebrows arched.

"Yeah, but you've got no proof man," Hatori replied.

"I know what's your saying what you're saying, but he's got a point Mino ," Kisa mentioned.

With a sigh of annoyance, Ritsu sat back down before a sudden out burst.

**Chiaki:**** T****HERE! RIGHT THERE!**

**Look at that tan, that tinted skin.**

Ritsu: What?

**Look at that killer shape he's in.**

Ritsu: Um?

**Look at that slightly stubly chin.**

Ritsu: It's not that bad..

**Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.**

Ritsu: Excuse me, WHAT?!

**Hatori: **** I'm not about to celebrate.**

**Every trait could indicate that totally straight expotraite.**

**This gay's not gay, I say not gay.**

Ritsu: Oh, thanks Hatori-sa-"

**Everyone:**** That is not the elephant in the room.**

**Well is it relevant to assume**

**that the man who wears perfume **

**is automatically matically fay?**

Ristu: What the hell! I'm not even wearing perfume!

**Kisa:**** But look at his quoft and crispy looks.**

**Chaiki: Look at his silk translucent socks.**

Ritsu: Um..

**Hatori:**** There's the eternal paradox**

**Look what we're seeing,**

**Chaiki:**** What are we seeing?**

**Hatori:**** Is he gay?**

**Chaiki:**** Of course he's gay.**

Ristu, I'll have you know, I-

**Hatori:**** Or European?**

Ritsu: What the fu-

**Everyone:**** Ohhhhhh.**

Everyone stares at each over as Ristu tries to find words to explain before they start again, but fails.

**Gay or European?**

**It's hard to guarantee**

**Is he gay or European?**

Ritsu: Hey, guys! You're don't understand, I'm just a-

Everyone in the group stares a Kisa.

**Kisa:**** What, hey don't look at me.**

**Yuu:**** You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign parts**

**They play peculiar sports**

**Everyone:**** In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.**

Ritsu: Hold up! That was only one time in England, you sons of b-

**Gay or foreign fella?**

**The answer could take weeks.**

Ritsu: It won't if you just listen to me!

**They will say things like "ciao bella' while they kiss you on both cheeks.**

**Chiaki:**** Oh please.**

**Everyone:**** Gay or European?**

**So many shades of gray.**

**Kisa:**** Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.**

Ritsu: How is that important?

**Everyone:**** Is he gay or European?**

**Or-**

**Isaka:**** THERE! RIGHT THERE!**

**Look at that condescending smirk.**

Ritsu: I'm not even smiling!

**Seen it on every guy at work.**

**That is a metro-hetro jerk.**

**That guy's not gay, I say no way.**

Ritsu: I thought we were friends!

**Everyone:**** That is the elephant in the room.**

**Well is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume**

Ritsu: Oh, I give up.

**Chiaki:**** Is automatically-radically**

**Hatori:**** Ironically-cronically**

**Yuu:**** Scurtinly-curtainly**

**Kisa:**** Genetically-netically**

**Everyone:**

**GAY!**

**OFFICIALLY GAY!**

**OFFIACILLY GAY! GAY! GAY! GAY!**

[Sees Ritsu telling An-chan love you before ending their phone call but does not hear the sibling part]

**DAMMIT!**

**Gay or European?**

**Hatori:**** So stylish and relaxed.**

**Everyone:**** Is he gay or European?**

**Hatori:**** I think his chest is waxed.**

**Yuu:**** But they bring their boys different there.**

**It's culturally diverse.**

**It's not a fashion curse.**

**Everyone:**** If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.**

Ritsu: Where did you get that!?

**Gay or just exotic?**

**I still can't crack the code.**

**Isaka:**** Yet his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy toed**

Ritsu: I don't even have an accent.

**Everyone:**** Huh.**

**Gay or European?**

**So many shade of grey.**

**Random female:**** But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on Saturday.**

**Everyone:**** Is he gay or European?**

**Gay or European?**

**Gay or Euro-**

**Kisa:**** Wait a minute!**

**Give me a chance to crack this guy.**

**I have an idea I'd like to try.**

**Hatori:**** The floor is yours.**

**Kisa:**** So, **

**This alleged affair with Ms. Kohinata has been going on for...?**

**Ristu:**** 5 years.**

**Kisa:**** And your first name again is...?**

**Ristu:**** Ritsu.**

**Kisa:**** And your boyfriend's name is...?**

**Ritsu:**** Takano Masamune.**

Everyone gasps at his answer while he realizes what he just answered.

**I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You said boyfriend. I thought you said best friend. Takano is my best friend.**

Suddenly Takano barges out of the elevator in rage.

**Takano: **

**You bastard!**

**You lying bastard!**

Ritsu: Takano! I can explain!

**That's it! **

**I no cover for you no more!**

**Peoples!**

**I have a big announcement!**

Ritsu: Oh, dear god...

**This man is GAY and European!**

**Everyone: WOAH!**

**Takano:**** You've got to stop your being and completely close this case.**

**No matter what he say.**

**I sware he never ever ever swing the other way.**

Takano marched up to Ritsu while Ritsu slowly lowers his head.

**You are so gay.**

**You big parfait!**

**You flaming boy in a cabaret.**

**Ritsu:**** I'm straight!**

**Takano:**** You were not yesterday.**

**So if I may, I'm proud to say,**

**HE'S GAY!**

**Everyone: **** AND EUROPEAN!**

**Takano: HE'S GAY!**

**Everyone: AND EUROPEAN AND GAY!**

**Ritsu: FINE, OKAY I'M GAY!**

Takano pulls Ritsu into a kiss.

**HORRAY!**

...

_YAY! Alright, so the bold words is the lyrics [that were some-what changed for notable reasons] and the one speaking them and the normal words are dialogue and actions I made. Also, I would just like to mention this, if you say the musical Legally Blonde the Musical, Chiaki is Elle, Hatori is Calahan, Kisa is Emmet\Warner , Yuu is Vivian, Isaka is Eden\Brooke, the random woman was the Judge, Ritsu was Ricos, and Takano was Carlos. Well, hope you enjoyed and see ya later._


End file.
